Easy as Pie?

So what the heck does saying something is "as easy as pie" mean? This phrase doesn't really make any sense. If I said something was "tasty as pie" then everyone understands, but what is so easy about a pie? It's not talking about making a pie cause if I had to make a pie the only part I would know how to do is buy a pie crust. Maybe people mean as easy as eating pie? I guess that makes sense, as long as the pie isn't too liquidy, or too hot, or the last thing I'm trying to fit into my stomach at the end of a Thanksgiving meal. I guess people might mean something is as "easy as pi". But that doesn't make sense cause 1. I've only heard Americans use this phrase and they suck at math and 2. why wouldn't the phrase be "as easy as addition". I propose we never use this phrase again until someone can give an explanation for it. Dropping it from our speech should be a piece of cake...

Spinach

Spinach, I have a question. How can a vegetable be so lazy in marketing itself? I mean your only competition in the leafy veggie category is lettuce, and you are way better than lettuce. Lettuce is just water, solid, green water. It has zero nutritional value. That's why it's called iceberg lettuce, cause they are made of the same thing. People can actually benefit from eating you, yet you allow lettuce to take over the salad and sandwich market. What's your deal? My recommendation would be to first get rid of your stems, those are annoying. Then hire a PR person to just blast lettuce's character. Make your customers hate lettuce and you'll be ruling the salad/sandwich market in no time.

Hot Dog?

So this is a pretty obvious question. Why is it called a hot dog? I'm told that there are some gross things that get put into the hot dog, but I've never been told it was actual dog. I assume the history of this food is pretty disgusting since I come from a place where dogs are closer to family members than they are to food. But even if original hot dogs were made from dog meat why do we still call them that when I'm sure its been over a century since someone in North America considered eating dog meat for nutrition. Maybe we should look into a name change for this food. Someone will need to be a little more creative with the naming process this time too, I don't think hot beef or hot pork is going to sell.

While I'm on the topic of things that we don't eat, it just recently dawned on me that there is something mysterious about our canine friends. It has to do with 'dog years'. I was told as a child that dog years and human years were different, specifically that 1 human year equals 7 dogs years. Now I blindly accepted this as a child and just thought "oh that just means that dogs have approximately 1/7th the life span of a human, and also mature faster than we do" (Josh age 3). Then just a few days ago I remembered that a year is not a measure of maturity in an organism, but a measure of time. A year can either be: 1. the amount of time it takes for an object to travel around the sun, or 2. a calendar year as used by the Gregorian calendar, or 365 days. Now using these definitions how can a dog year be different from a human year? Obviously we can throw out the second definition as the difference, because they are dogs, there is no way dogs could invent a calendar system. So clearly the difference between a dog year and a human year has to be due to the fact that dogs travel faster around the sun than humans do. Hopefully some scientists will be able to look into the implications of our pets traveling super fast, and also how we haven't noticed it yet.