December 25th, 1776. George Washington is leading a group of tired, hungry men who aren't feeling much like defending their new nation right now. They just want to be home with their families. These men are in bare feet in the snow, and most haven't eaten in a few days. Washington knows that if they don't eat soon they'll have no energy to fight and the war will be all but over. With no food left to ration to his troops Washington makes his famous quote, "the future of America hinges on food." Scouts have reported that the Hessian mercenaries across the river are enjoying a Christmas feast of Hamburgers from Germany. That is when Washington devised the plan to row across the Delaware river that night and take all the Hessian hamburgers for America. After the surprise attack worked and the colonial army ate their fill of hamburgers Washington famously said, "These United States will forever be indebted to the hamburger."
George Washington's bravery and patriotism formed the American values we still hold today of eating and taking by force what doesn't belong to us. This crucial event in the forming of the nation is what has given the hamburger the rightful title of "The American Food." So go out today to the nearest (insert whichever restaurant will pay to advertise first) and grab yourself a big American Hamburger and eat it like the founding father's would have wanted.
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